190: How To Take Small Steps Toward A Huge Life with Diane Randall

Dr. Brad Miller here on Beyond Adversity.

This is the podcast where we help you to

grow through what you go through navigating

adverse life events, to achieve your life a peace

and prosperity and purpose. We love to talk to

people who have a story to tell. That is the case

today, as we have Diane Randall with us she has

a story to tell, that has to do with health and relationships

and all kinds of challenges that she had to face in her life

and overcome those and she talks about those

and jump start your life. Her book called Jumpstart

your Life, Find your Motivation and Change your

Life One Step at a Time.

Diane Randall, welcome to Beyond Adversity.

Thank you for inviting me. I'm so happy to be here.

It's awesome to have you. With us here today

on Beyond Adversity. As I mentioned in our

comments, you do have quite the story to tell

you that a lot of things happen in your life,

and you have come to a different place in

life where you are right now making a huge

contribution to folks through your website,

dianerandallconsults.com, and through your

book, but let's hear hear a bit about your

story of how you had to face some real

challenges some real adversities in your

life that you had to come to terms

with let's hear your story.

Well, I'll tell you the most traumatic

and I'll say that because of that

happened when I was really young,

even though I've had lots of adversity.

Yes.

My sister was murdered when I was 19 years old.

Oh, my goodness. Can we just pause to say

I'm so sorry, let me just pause right there to

say I'm so sorry about that event of your life.

And that, you know, even where I am

now, and I look back, that is probably

the most traumatic thing that happened in

my life. But it also set me on a course to

where I am today.

Yes.

So my sister was murdered. And at that

time, you know, she died, we went to a

funeral and we all just moved on.

Well, at least that's what we thought.

Yes.

So I would say in my 20s. And keep in mind,

I was very unconscious about this. I was

so sad, not knowing that I was depressed,

but I was just sad. Just really, really sad.

Didn't stop me from getting married.

And having a couple of kids, all right,

but I was walking around in a fog, I

really didn't know how to be happy.

I did have something inside of me that

said, I just don't want to feel like this for

the rest of my life. And I never equated

it to my sister's death. That could be

why I was feeling the way I was feeling.

So I wanted to be happy. But I didn't

feel at that time in my life I had

anyone that was happier. And

that's my perception from 19-20

year old, right? No one was happy.

So how can I get happy? So I

started reading books. At that

time, the Internet was not even,

you know, a thing, right? I started

reading books, I started going to I

won't say I went to church, but I would

go to like a nondenominational

gatherings just to hear about what it

was like to take some type of control

and power in your life. So I kept reading

the books. And then one day over

time, I just kept driving and driving

and driving and I thought I was past

the death. And I just kept navigating

around reading, just getting feedback

from the world that you know, you're

just not in a good place. Didn't like

sounds firecrackers any I was very afraid.

And I thought I was gonna die at any second.

Okay.

But what that did for me, it caused me

to look at okay, what is death?

What is death about? Because that

was the scariest thing for me and

I was wearing it every day. So I

started going to like workshops,

you know, you read then one thing

leads to another you go to workshop,

I go I went to workshops. I talked to a

lot of people about I talked to a lot of

people and read about how to heal from

Inside Out, which was something,

you know, wow, really.

So, as time passed, I went on with my life,

I got married, I had kids, I had an

awesome career. But there was this

side of me that was still really depressed

and withdraw, even though I faked it

pretty good. You know, I got a great job

and navigate it. But I wanted to be true to

myself, and really figure out what I

could do to just be happy. So I started

reading, I started soul searching

and going a lot to therapy. Okay, see how

I could feel better about my life. And it's

so interesting, because I never thought,

Oh, my sister died. This is why I'm so sad.

I was so disconnected from that, which

now I think about it, which is kind of weird.

But reading, going to workshops, listening

to different spiritual teachers put me on a

journey myself to healing. I started out

going to like personal life coaching classes,

I became a life coach, I became a wellness

coach just trying to dig in and figure out

what the heck is going on with me as

I've gone to therapy, and then the and

then another thing I did was, I like the

way I started to feel as I read as I connected

on a spiritual level with groups,

teachers, so I ended up going to

school to get a master's in spiritual

psychology. And man, that was a

very experiential experience. Because

that allowed me to really dig in.

I call it an excavation at the time.

Interesting terminology, I like it.

Really, we're talking a lot about

digging deeper, and you know,

your inner life. So that makes some sense. Yeah.

Yeah. So I called it an excavation,

because I was aware that I was feeling

better. And I was also aware that I had

a lot of healing to do.

Yes. Had a lot of digging to do didn't do you.

A lot of digging to do. All my education

and training for a long time, it just showed

me that I had an awareness that I had

a lot of digging to do.

What's that? This what an awesome story

in this kind of legend and a pathway towards

what you do now and teaching and leadership

and writing books about healing and

wholeness and your health? And, so you

took some interesting turns for yourself, didn't you?

I took some very interesting turns,

because what I didn't realize was

all that inner trauma weakened my body.

Okay.

You know, carrying all that. And I had no

clue. I had a lot of stress at that. You

know, at a certain point, I was divorced,

I had two little kids, I had to take care

of just trying to deal with the challenges

of life. So I had a lot of stress. And my

body was breaking down at a very young age.

So you had some health challenges that

it sounds like, well,

Yes, I had chronic blood pressure, high

cholesterol, my doctor said I was on a path

to in the future, you're going to have a heart

attack if you don't get that metabolic

connection together. That's what he used to say to me.

Get your act together?

Oh, well, yes.

He became aware of the interconnection,

your physical health and your spiritual life

and your your mental health and all that. The integration

It was the integration of all that. So as I

learned, and what things that made

me feel better, I started sharing it with

people. Keep in mind, I'm a IT consultant,

technology consultant. I wasn't even

thinking about going into wellness.

But my journey and my search to

help myself, lead me down a path

to sharing with others about the things

I learned. People notice how, you know,

oh, what are you doing? You know,

you just look different, you know.

What would you say? What, maybe a

couple of the really? You've mentioned

some already, but what would you say

were some of the pivotal action points

that you took, because you were talking

about where you started from. You had

your depression, your sadness, as you

said, that had to relate it to, you know,

the death of your sister and you had a

divorce and you had just overwhelming

sadness, this sense of fear of death. Fear

seemed like a big part of what you were experiencing.

Yes.

But a lot of people stay stuck there. You know,

as you know, a lot of people stay stuck in those states.

For a long time, and you were there for quite

a while it sounds like, but then you made

a couple of decisions, some defining moments.

And if you would like you see if you could

pinpoint some of those couple those defining

moments that set you on the path that you're on now,

One moment was, I want it to be happy.

I wanted to feel better. I acknowledge that

I had a lot going on inside of me that I

needed to figure out even though I had no

clue where to start initially. So I started doing

different things, reading, work, you know,

just any just trying different things. That

was the first thing. And I took responsibility

for my health. I took responsibility for

my actions, and not blaming everybody,

I thought, cause the these problems.

Yeah. So articles, outer influences, and

you turn them around to you to be a

motivation to change your inner life.

In order to be a better person. That's great.

So yet, please a couple things. I'm here

either you took full responsibility, and

you had a bigger vision about what

you know, you want to get better.

You were sick and tired of being sick

and tired of sound like

That's right.

Is that a fair? Is that a fair?

That is very fair, that is very fair.

So I'm a big believer here that you

got to take action. You got to do

something. You know, you were in a

state, we have to somehow find the

wherewithal, you know, whatever it is.

Your mind state, your physical pain, your

sometimes people are motivated by caring

for the kids or whatever it is that you got to

get out of that state. So that's awesome.

I want it out. And not knowing, not knowing

how to get out wasn't big, a big enough

reason not to do it. Because that feeling

of staying where I was, was a deeper pain,

You leverage the pain to to have life

transformation. Let's talk for a second

thing. Diane, you've mentioned a

couple times about you went and

got a some education in spiritual psychology.

And you talked about delving into some

spiritual aspects of your life. And I'm interested

in talking a little bit about how life transformation

how that informed your trance, your transformation,

about sensing something bigger than yourself

a spiritual life, meditation, other practices

like this. Tell me about this spiritual

aspect to your transformation.

Well, every time I went to hear a spiritual

teacher, or I started some type of

educational workshop, I would, I

would feel something deep inside

of me, I relate it to that, or I aligned

with some of the messaging that I was

getting. Keep in mind, I didn't know a

lot of that time. But being able to see

other people share their experiences,

and also connecting with people that

would be in the audience, when they

would talk about their experiences.

Sometimes I would just get triggered, and

I would relate so deeply to what they were

saying. So being in a room, or the energy of

other people that also had adversity or

challenges in our life really helped me to

not only just own what was coming up for me,

but to trust that I could share to trust

that as I heard others talk about their

experiences that I could write, I could

navigate through it. I could go get through

it, no matter how painful it felt at the time.

I could get through it.

Yes

We say over and you have to go through it.

Yeah, yeah. I think you had kind of this revelatory

type of experience that you knew that the

transformation had to be not only about

the deal with the pain, but you had to go

to your inner life, your spiritual, deep places

in order to have healing and so it's both end.

You got to take action, you got to, you know,

get going, you can't stay stuck. And that's

part of that exploration process, you know, just

trying stuff. And then

Yes.

Part of what you tried and had some residents

for you was the spiritual development and

had you must have thought enough about it.

You went and got a advanced degree in

spiritual psychology. So that's awesome.

Yeah, just said one thing kept leading to

another, you know, a talk, a workshop, a book.

Yeah.

And then I just go in here. A lot of speakers.

A lot of teachers talk about different things.

That's great.

And there was a teacher on stage talking

about her experience in spiritual psychology.

I heard what she said it touched me so deeply

the next day, I looked up to school and I called.

In a way you went.

In a way I went, I flew to Santa Monica, California

for two years. On a weekend.

Yeah.

And I say, with having my children, that was the

second best experience that had I've had life experience.

So that was a transformational moment. That

was one of those pivotal. Well, those pivotal

moments we've been talking about here.

Yes.

Well, let's talk for a minute about I like to

talk about the you know, the action side,

which is taking action in the spiritual side.

I also like to talk about kind of the cognitive

imprint of what you do. What I mean by that is,

how did these experiences in lead to implementing

life changing your life. I'm talking about habits

or practices or the way you live your life, your

everyday life now, as opposed when you were

in that sad state? What are some of the things

that you do now they mean, you may have

learned in your education or have applied in your life now

I've learned that I have to stay integrated in

some type of upliftment, whether it's group,

a spiritual group teaching, and I get a lot from

teaching personal growth classes, inner strategies

is what I say I teach inner tools and strategies.

I get so much upliftment from being in that setting.

All that I practice yoga, I practice meditation, I have

a lot of physical activity in my life, not just running

to the gym. I surround myself with people who

I call them my tribe, people that I'm aligned

with lots of coaches and creators, people who

have small businesses like minded people.

Yes, yes. Also you mentioned, you mentioned

several things here meditation and yoga and

surrounding yourself with the like minded

people and be in kind of in an environment

that is helpful to you. And that's important

to have an understanding of the need to

have a life change. You've got to implement

new habits. And sometimes that means even

new people in your life or expanding your

environment or expanding your influences

to people who influence you and who you

influence. So let's talk a little bit about that.

I really believe relationships, that emotional

part of this is important part two, and let's talk

for a minute about the power of relationships

in life change for you, and how we can

implement that and others about some people

may been helpful to you, or how you have

used relationships to help empower yourself.

That could have even not only be your

interpersonal, but it could be like books

or tapes, or, you know, people on stage.

But tell me about relationships in terms

of life change for you.

I always say I've had several pivotal people

in my life. People that just knowing that my life change.

Yes.

I have a best friend and I, my friend Roz,

I call her my angel. And she's been in my

life for 30 years. She's and she's enough

older than me, where she's been a mentor.

She's been a big sister. She's been an angel.

She's always been in my life as an observer,

but she has always, and what I what I love

about her now, and I did when I was younger,

because she would look at the big picture,

she wouldn't side with me. She was just there

to observe. And if I asked her questions, she

turned around and asked me a question when

I'm looking for the answer from her.

Yes. Okay. Well, that's awesome.

She, even to this day, I call her my angel.

Depending on you know, what's going on,

but she's been there. Because I've had friendships,

and I learned the hard lesson that sometimes

relationships run their course. It's not bad,

it's not good. They just run their course. And

she helped me to understand that and be

good about it.

And so those relationships are impactful

in different seasons of life, you know, as

well in terms of you maybe have a need

as a you know, as a young person, you

may have dead different ages when you're,

you know, in your 20s or 30s or different

seasons of your career things like this.

Mentorships take come into play and

but it's also good I love to hear you

say about that long term relationship.

Whether Roz which was meaningful

over the long term And that's me,

there's a certain value to that which

is significant. If now you've turned your life

into mentoring and helpful and being

serving others, you know this, they get so important.

You've written a book called Jumpstart your Life.

And you've got several coaching and teaching

and things like that. Let's talk a bit about what

you how you how you've taken your experiences,

Diane, and how you now are taking all these things

we've talked about here; your pain and your situations

and your research and your education and your

everything you've got. And now you're serving others.

So tell us what about that. What are people going to

find in your book? What are people going to find in

what you offer?

First people are going to find in my book

that started out as a article I wrote for a

small magazine about a single mom who

stepped out of her comfort zone, and created

a life in another city, who with no friends and

no family, no support network. So then it evolved

into a presentation where, you know, I would

someone would ask me to talk to single moms

and, and I would do that then I started teaching

at an adult enrichment program at a college here in

Chicago. And I was able to create my own classes.

So I taught that taught the class; it became jumpstart

your life because it it teaches people how to

navigate through your current situation. There's

exercises where you can look at every aspect of

your life, figure out what you truly want. And take

it to write an affirmation to support what you want.

And we walked through several exercises and

affirmations to where by the time you leave the

class or you read the book, you have at least

two ideas or two actions that you can take

to start down the path of what you really want.

What what life you really want. I was asked a

question, what do you really want?

Yes, that's awesome. So that's the part

of the Jumpstart, you know, what you really

want is to how do you get things going?

How do you get things fired up? So yes, yeah, well,

that's awesome. So what are what are folks,

let's just say that there is a younger version of

Diane, something with some similar life circumstances

in her life, single mom, or whatever the

circumstances may be. And she is somehow

heard about you, perhaps for this podcast, or

some of the other things you've done? What

are they going to find when they reach out to

you and your website? And what are some of

the resources that you have available to them?

What resources I have available? I have assessments.

Actually my workshop up my I have assessments.

How do I how well do I know myself?

What's the right life balance?

And those are so you can take and kind of figure out?

Oh, and stress? You know, where's your stress level?

Yes

That's a big one. So just to take these assessments

just to kind of see where you are.

Yes.

With each of those things, I talked about

launching a whole like wellness community,

for people to join, and we talk about how to,

we'll all work together on tools and strategies,

exploring ideas on how to create a life that we

truly want, no matter how busy you are in your life.

I have four courses that I offer to the courses that

I teach at the college I've also created them online

now so that people can in the community can take

the courses and have support. And I actually will

be doing a Zoom meeting once a month to answer

questions, to cover different topics to support the

groups. I'm very, very excited about that.

Lots of resources there. I've taken a look at your

pitcher website. dianerandallconsults.com, lots of

good information there. And let's talk for a minute

here about the results. What I mean by that is I'm

sure you've worked with a lot of folks and let's talk

about a example person or persons you may have

worked with where you have seen some real life

transformation take place. Can you share with us

kind of a you know, a example of someone you've worked with?

I can share an example of let's say, and I work

with a lot of Believe it or not middle aged people,

women and men but women mostly. And I have

people that, and this is huge that I meet in class

or that come to me to talk to me, they want to

change their life. But they just don't know what

to do. And then when you when when I talk to

them, there's so many, just getting them past the

barriers that are keeping them stuck are huge.

So I would say I talked to a lot of people about

boundaries, because that's typically where we start.

What are boundaries? Or some people don't even

know that boundaries are the issue for them because

they're stuck. And they just don't know how to move

past them. And if I talk to them about moving past

them, I have all the reasons why I can't

So you've seen some profound change in people It sounds like

I have profound and it's you know what, it's small,

it's one step at a time. Sometimes people talk to me,

and change is so painful, they decide they don't

want to do it. Because if I have to change, then

I'll probably divorce my husband. And I'm just not

ready for what that means that that's been a real scenario.

Well, that's all like, you know, there's a lot of

sometimes for some folks, it's take that first

step is how far tiny it is, it's huge. And for

some folks, I got to take one step forward

and step back and then

Yes

you know, take, reassess and do some things there.

But some great resources here. So tell us what about

how people can get a hold of you, Diane, if the

through your website tell us what about how

they can make connections with you if they want to

reach out to you

People can reach me, certainly at my website,

www.dianerandallconsults.com. LinkedIn Diane

Randall Consults as well as Instagram @dianerandallconsults.

It's really easy to get in touch with me. I do a

lot of teaching speaking podcast because I love

talking about how to create life. And now I love

contributing my story. acknowledging my pain,

and a lot of times that connects with other people

where they share their pain.

Well, that's a healing part for you as well, isn't it?

So? Yes, it is. Yes, it is. So that's awesome.

So it's all integrated, all comes together,

we become healed as we are seeking to

be contributed to the wellness of others. And that's all about you

People are my mirror, they're my mirror.

Well, you, you have a great story to tell Diane,

it's all about taking small steps towards a huge life.

Yes, your book, Jumpstart your Life, Find your

Motivation and Change your Life One Step at a Time.

And she blogs and has all kinds of information

at dianerandallconsults.com. And we are thankful to

have you as our guest today on beyond adversity.

Our guest today on Beyond Adversity with Dr. Brad Miller

has been Diane Randall. Thank you, Diane.